stop being so modest!

 I recently read an article (via @PAMGRIER on twitter) about taking credit when it's due instead of giving it away:  Why You Need To Brag More (and How To Do It) by Dr. Peggy Drexler.

This really resonates with me because I've erred that way too many times, sometimes with unexpected and unfortunate results.

Of course I still believe strongly in giving credit where it's deserved, even trying to remember to put photographer's names on my own dance photos in my extensive archive (it's not easy after all these years!). Other ways dancers give due credit is by mentioning who they have learned from; and often when teaching, we will even include the specific teacher or dancer who taught a certain move - who hasn't heard of "Soheir Zaki hips" or the "Dina hip circle"? I also credit my former troupe with helping in the creation of the group improv format "Tribal Odyssey Bellydance", because working out the details DID require having real bodies dancing in real time. And of course in class I also mention which moves were developed by Miramar, who helped create the format. Maybe it's because I'm a visual learner, but often I can even remember not only the teacher, but also the surroundings when I first learned a move - for instance, whether it was my teacher's studio, or at a particular workshop.
Do you find yourself remembering learning moves like this too? It's funny how much I remember about dance considering my memory isn't that great in other areas! At least it makes it easy to pass on the creative "dance credits" to my students and helps teach respect for our bellydance lineage. But I wonder if I need to toot my own horn a bit more?

I love being a "team player" and sharing creative projects with others, but giving away too much undeserved credit and then expecting to be treated fairly in return doesn't seem to work. The recipients of the "free credit" can actually come to believe they deserve it; and a real and factual accounting of the situation can even lead to a fight over rights. I imagine this sometimes happens in troupes, and helps bring on their demise. Certainly, bringing financial considerations into the picture is a sure-fire way to test whether everyone has a clear mental accounting of the facts - or not.

In examining why I've tended to over-credit sometimes, I think my concern for people's feelings - that they feel included, appreciated, and important - is behind it. As I look back on these situations, I see that I've shortchanged myself; perhaps hoping that my gesture would be accepted gratefully and create "warm fuzzies". Could it even be seen as patronizing on my part to do this? Maybe so, but it really comes from a desire to be kind. However, the old adage that people don't value things that are free seems to hold true in this case too - as my husband would say in his rustic way, being "too kind" can come back and bite you in the ass!

Experience can be a hard, unpleasant teacher, but it does teach well. Now I'm learning to honor myself by NOT "giving away" credit when it's unfounded. Like the article says, if we own up to our mistakes, why wouldn't we do the the same for our victories?

Stealing choreography is anathema in the dance world, and it does happen; but outright theft is not the same as delusional thinking, which is what undue credit seems to engender in the recipient. When you look at it like that, it's really not a good gift at all, is it? So stop being so modest and feeding someone else's ego - you're just creating a monster!

I'm sure taking due credit is something many of you struggle with too; according to the article, it's more prevalent in women. It's a trap I can fall into if I'm not careful - maybe I'm afraid I won't find a balance, and will become one of those empty braggarts (brag-arts!). I'd almost rather stay unnoticed. How do you feel about taking credit and giving credit - is it easy to find a balance?

Anthea / Kawakib
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and THAT's why choreography sucks!

No, I'm kidding of course! I absolutely LOVE a well-made choreography! But sometimes you're left scrambling to adjust the show when one of your performers can't make it - am I right?

That's what just happened to me and my PRISM Dancers. Two days prior to our show at Alhamraa in Charlottesville - half of which was choreographed dances, and the rest group improv bellydance - one of my dancers had to pull out because of health issues. AND, as luck would have it, since I'd planned the show around four dancers, both of our choreographed dances were duets - and now my duet partner would be missing.

So with NO time left for rehearsals, we had to figure out how to adapt the two choreographies. There were two options: take one dancer out and have ONE duet onstage; or make the remaining duet into a trio... somehow.
Now, if it hadn't been for the fact that we were going to a show out of town where people were actually coming to see ME perform, I'd have gone with the first option, and pulled myself out of the two choreographed numbers. But I didn't want to let my wonderful fans down; they're precious supporters whom I hold dear to my heart. So instead, I hung in on those two numbers and probably made them look like what my husband would call a "soup sandwhich" - a mess!
I know I could've replaced one of the dancers and she would've understood, but I wanted my performers to experience all the dancing fun possible, and not miss half the show waiting backstage.

My dancers and I have the attitude that:

1. the show WILL go on,
2. we SHALL do a good performance,
3. AND, we WILL enjoy ourselves onstage.

So, our two choreographed numbers became "trios" - of a sort! I'm sure the staging looked a wee bit messy at times, but that's how it goes. Yes, I know it was really alright - everyone enjoyed it, including us!

Yay, we had fun!

  Anthea / Kawakib
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resuming more activities...

So it's been several years since I could garden, but now without the hip pain I can again! So add gardening to my activities now! woohoo :)
I also think my leg is getting stronger, it seems to be staying in place better when I'm horseback riding.
And, my advanced dancers & I recently started working on one of my harder choreographies, and I'm really looking forward to our performance of it, whenever that might be - maybe this year's Student Recital!!! Yay ~